Why?

Last night was really hard, it was one of those hit you in gut, break your heart, cry til it hurts moments of "She is really gone...I can't and don't want to believe it! Please tell me that she is just down in her room, snuggling with her blanky, listening to music, eating her chips and writing in her journal. Please tell me this is a a bad dream Please!"
But it isn't a bad dream. It is real and I just didn't know what I was going to do...I just wanted to cry myself to sleep and be sad...

I read "The Message" in about 3 hours one day and it has given me comfort and knowledge that I would not have had without this amazing book, so I decided to go pick it up and re-read a few pages that might be of comfort and IMMEDIATLEY I came to this:

"I remember when I left to come here," Randy continued. "I had suffered so long that it was a welcomed rest to leave my bodily pain, but, oh how I missed my family at first. I wondered if it was right for me to have died. Then I was shown what is about to happen in your world. And it was explained to me that certain members of each family chose, long ago, before this life, to die and come to this realm that they might better help their families endure the challenges to come."Randy's expression changed to one of reverence. "There are many powerful, wonderful spirits who are being called home right now, that they can better help their families prepare for that which is about to take place in your world. One of the major reasons many of us are here is to serve and help those in mortality. Remember that word "serve" for it is a vital part of our world, and can change yours." His eyes did not move from mine. I knew what he was saying was deeply important.I was deeply moved. I had never understood nor thought of how God delivers assistance to us. With billions of children, what more perfect plan could he use than through righteous family members? It made me think about how often I may have been given inspiration from God through ministering "family" servants of God. I could believe it was truth. Once again I felt the burning warmth inside, testifying to me that it was.

Thank you Nikki for choosing long ago to die for our family. To help us prepare and endure.I love you so much and I am eternally grateful.