Nikki, you have always been so special to me. I've always had such a soft spot in my heart for you. I love you more than I can ever say and miss you more than anyone will ever know. You are the best sister anyone could ever have. You have always been there for me. I loved being the two redheads :-) We had a special bond that I know we will always have. I will always remember the many wonderful things about you and cherish the memories. I especially felt extra close to you just the last couple of years. I'm so proud of all that you accomplished and the beautiful woman you had become. I will miss getting those phone calls at 11 pm when I had just had Jackson and you just wanted to tell me about a cute boy! You had no clue sometimes and I loved that about you. I remember so many times getting those late night phone calls and when we'd hang up John and I would look at each other and shake our heads and laugh because it was just so Nikki. I miss the many text messages that were so full of love. I can't even tell you how many times your special messages brought me to tears. I felt so lucky to have sister who cared so deeply and loved so much. I miss asking you if all you're really going to eat is chips and carrot cake for the day! I also will always remember how grateful you were if I bought you something. There was a time in Walmart when you couldn't decide what to get because you only had a few dollars with you and I told you I wanted to just buy it for you and you were so appreciative. I wanted to buy it for you because you were always buying things and giving to everyone else. I cannot even begin to tell you what I felt when you gave me my blanket on my birthday. I saw how excited you were. I knew it was going to be special because you had been working on it for a couple months! When I opened it I was overwhelmed with love. I couldn't believe my sister just made me a blanket for my birthday. That will forever be so special to me. I miss so much how loving and gentle you were with Jackson. There were so many tender moments. I would look over and through all the noise of the family you would quietly be rocking him in your arms, looking down at him smiling. I miss hearing you sing to your music. I miss listening to your stories about your next drawing you were planning. I miss hearing you tell me the same story like 5 times because you forgot that you had already told me. I miss so badly "Ummm.... Question!" Or "Jami, do you think there's any way that perhaps if you had time, if it would be ok, only if it would work out, that maybe, if you're not doing anything....".
You taught me so much Nikki. You taught me not to be the victim in life. That everyone deserves a second chance. You taught me that anyone can do what they are most afraid of. You strengthened my testimony and made me see that I want to be better and live my life in your footsteps. I love you Nikki. I love everything about you. I know I didn't use to show that all the time but I am so happy we became such good friends in the last part of your life. Thank you for always being my friend and for always being strong. I don't know if you ever knew how truly beautiful you were both inside and out. Thank you for comforting me when I need it most. I have had some really neat experiences lately that I will never forget and I am so grateful to you for that. I am also so grateful to have the most beautiful caring guardian angel.